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With a promising vaccine rollout coinciding with the end of cuffing season, many singles are preparing for the first post-pandemic dating season after a year that forced us all to rethink our approach to dating and romance. Personally speaking, going through a breakup and navigating dating during a global pandemic was definitely a character-building experience. But it also gave me an opportunity to turn inward and focus on my own self-development and growth. But as crucial as therapy was for help pull me out of the revolving door of casual dating and into a serious relationship, I'd also like to make the case for the dark horse: astrology and magick.
Until joining the staff at InStyle.com, I was a skeptic. My scope of all things astral consisted of sharing memes and notes from CoStar over a glass of wine with friends, and being a true believer that "Astrology is Fake but Scorpios are Extremely True". Then I met astrologist Lisa Stardust, who read my birth chart and predicted I'd be in a relationship by the fall — spoiler, she was right. Along the way, I discovered that manifestation can sometimes be a trojan horse for allowing yourself to open to the possibilities that you've been blocking from yourself. According to Stardust, "manifestation is putting your intention towards something that you hope will happen, then watching it happen in real life. In other words, if you think it, it'll come true."
With the ever anticipated Venus Star Point approaching in a few short weeks, it might be worth consulting the astral for some extra help in the romance department. March 26th will be the perfect day to manifest love in 2021, but these are practices to spark passion and love every day of the year.
If you've been feeling like you need an extra push to get things going in your romantic life, here's how to use magick to manifest love in 2021.
Cultivating Love with Tarot
Tarot has been gaining popularity and traction in recent years and with good reason. While a tarot reader can provide the most accurate analysis of the cards, there are lots of great options you can invest in to do readings at home. If you're looking to get your own, Sarah Potter, a witch and tarot reading specialist, recommends pulling a card for yourself each day to begin the practice of meditation and manifestation in order to become familiar with the deck and understand how the cards relate to the energy you're projecting on any given day.
The cards are basically a way to read what kind of energy you're projecting into the universe and can indicate what's to come, be it a new opportunity, financial prosperity, or a change in relationship status. I was not at all surprised that the underlying force behind Tarot is learning about yourself and what energy you're putting out in the universe and what that's drawing in. "Tarot is one of the greatest tools to get to know yourself better. Because look, if you don't know yourself or you don't value yourself or know what you have to work on, it's going to trip up your relationship," Potter explains.
So what are the best- and worst-case scenarios when pulling tarot for yourself or your relationship? In a tarot deck, cups deal with our emotions and matters of the heart. For example, the Two of the Cups [symbolizes] partnership. "It's so lovely because two beings are coming together," Potter explains. If you're looking for the ultimate love story, there's the Ten of Cups. "There's a beautiful rainbow and I like to call that the happily ever after card," Potter explains. "Whatever is that dream come true for me might be very different for you, but with that card showing up, the astra is telling you that this is your fairytale ending."
The Four of Cups, on the other hand, reminds us that if we're overly focused on the wrong things, we're missing things that are right in front of us. It might mean you're settling or wasting your time with the wrong person when the better partner is right under your nose.
For readers looking to meet someone or hoping for love in 2021, look out for the Ace of Cups. "This is the relationship with ourselves. It's a reminder to focus on yourself and really honor yourself," Potter says.
For readers who are single or looking to reconnect with themselves this year, look for wands, which are fire energy and represent our passion and sexual energy, Potter says. "If you're looking to just hook up and the Ace of Wands shows up, that's pretty spicy and exciting," she says. There's also the Queen of Wands, which reminds us to just be as bold as possible, Potter says. "Date a bunch of people, do whatever you want! Explore your sexuality."
When it comes to those seeking guidance in rocky relationships, tarot can also bring comfort or insight into how to take the next steps. The Star represents healing and is the card that reminds us to have hope. One of the most intimidating cards is the Ten of Swords, a figure face down with swords in their back. However, Potter insists you shouldn't worry if you pull this card because it means things can only get better; this is the time to face a challenge with a conversation.
- Sarah Potter, witch and tarot reader
"Use this information to your advantage and you can always change the course! You hold the power. The cards are just giving you the information."
— - Sarah Potter, witch and tarot reader
Is there a card that indicates you might have a breakup on the horizon? Sorry, but yes. It's the Death card, which signifies an ending, Potter says, and the Tower, signifying burn-it-to-the-ground destruction; a sudden change that happens to us. "If the Death card pops up, you're probably heading for a breakup." This is the signal for those of us that tend to hang on to stale relationships or let things drag on for too long. If you're on the rocks and seek out a reading where your astrologist pulls the Death card, try to receive it with optimism. "When you end something, you create room for something new and more aligned that's better suited for you."
Of course, sometimes we hear things we don't want to hear, but they don't mean we aren't in control of our destiny. "Use this information to your advantage and you can always change the course!" Potter says. "You hold the power. The cards are just giving you the information."
Manifesting Love with Crystals and Intention
If you bought a commercial crystal starter kit recently, it probably included Rose Quartz for love. "Rose is connected to the heart chakra. So this is all about the type of romance you want to bring into your life; the type of compassion you have for yourself and for others," explains to Gary D'Andre, astrologer and host of the Mystic Moments podcast. "It helps you to unlock those aspects of yourself and maybe you notice those in other people." He also recommends Pink Calcite, Jade Nephrite and Rhodonite if you're looking to grow your collection.
As far as the best way to use your crystals when calling higher powers into your love life? It depends on what you need in that moment, he says. "I might put my biggest rose quartz on my personal altar and give that work over to the universe. If it's energy I'm trying to draw in more, I might sleep with it in bed. I also love wearing crystal bracelets and necklaces — it's a way of saying, 'I'm proud of what it is that I am manifesting into my life right now'," he says. If you're less into using crystals for accessorizing, he recommends adorning your room with crystals by putting them on your nightstand or in the four corners of your bedroom.
Gary D'Andre, astrologer
Crystal Magic is every bit about intention. Choosing the right tools for what you're trying to cultivate in your own life comes down to connecting to what you want and need for yourself and taking the steps to build a bridge for that energy to come to you.
— Gary D'Andre, astrologer
Your crystals will allow the universe to hold space and shoulder some of that work in whatever it is you're trying to accomplish or affirm. Crystal Magic is every bit about intention, which is really the underlying concept of all of this. Choosing the right tools for what you're trying to cultivate in your own life comes down to connecting to what you want and need for yourself and taking the steps to build a bridge for that energy to come to you.
How to Build Your Altar for Manifestation
If you've collected your crystals and want to create a space to dedicate a little time each day to practice manifestation, it might be time to build an altar. If it sounds intimidating or too woo-woo, hear me out. While there are great, formal options on Etsy, the underlying premise is that you're creating a designated place to affirm the things you're trying to bring into your life. You can start with your nightstand, your shelf, or a free windowsill. Consider this your practice space for the ritual of manifesting blessings from the universe, be it for love or prosperity.
D'Andre recommends starting with the four elements: Fire, water, earth, and air.
Candles will represent fire. He suggests using pink and red candles, symbolizing passion, compassion, and self-assurance — a good starting point for manifesting love with your altar. Like many other practices in magick and astrology, act with intention when choosing candles and cultivate the things you want with affirmations. Gary suggests writing onto the candle vertically your name as well as what you're hoping to manifest to bring the energy down from the universe. For couples, he adds that you can write both of your names and what you're trying to bring into your relationship, be it more quality time or an engagement.
Air can be incorporated into your altar by using incense. D'Andre suggests scents like patchouli, frankincense, or myrrh. Water on your altar is for communicating with yourself and allows the energy to flow more easily. Finally, our crystals will bring the earth element to your altar, but you can also incorporate herbs like lavender, cinnamon or rosemary, or even dirt from your garden.
A lot of D'Andre's explanation of crystals and building an altar comes down to putting out into the universe what you want and allowing a higher power to help guide it back to you. He suggests practicing statements of affirmation when interacting with your crystals to affirm what you're manifesting. For example, "I have this rose quartz because I want to bring more love into my relationships."
Your altar is a great place to incorporate journal entries or your ideals list for a future partner. "I suggest writing out what it is that you want in your desired partner. That is a great way for you to really set the intention of what you want and what you deserve," D'Andre says. "You can always go back and change that list if you need to." D'Andre recommends being as specific as possible and tailoring it to your needs, focusing on things like a future partner's qualities, or how they communicate with you.
This is an opportunity to practice asking for what you want and affirming your needs. "Set it out on your altar, put your candle on top of your list, and just allow the universe to receive that information," D'Andre says. "Then receive that energy from the universe and start noticing when you meet people that kind of fit some of the qualities that you write out and use that as the barometer."
An Astrologist's Prediction Manifested My Relationship
It turns out, without being familiar with manifestation, I had actually been practicing it for some time. Ideals List writing, words of affirmation, the vision board, lucky pink (and blue! A little extra prosperity never hurts!) candles from the local botanica — if it was out there, I had tried it. "I feel like I've done the work, made the preparations, created room to allow someone in, when is it going to fall into place?" I'd complain to my therapist. Stardust's reading was finally the first hint that things would look up. My realism was switching to full-blown optimism.
Much in the way that a horoscope can hit close to home certain days, a prophecy has a way of manifesting itself. It's easy to say I was skeptical that someone could know so much about my future love life from a few questions about my birth time and astrological sign — I myself spent the better part of the next two months unsuccessfully trying to poke holes in Stardust's prediction. A skeptic would suggest that my relationship was the reasonable product of the years of therapy, raising my standards, and setting healthy boundaries which created the perfect environment for a relationship to grow. My Ideals List was in its final draft and coming to life. I, however, wasn't convinced that this wasn't the work of a witch's prophecy coupled with my own manifestation of her predictions that brought love to my life during a global pandemic.
If the pandemic wall has put a damper on your love life, consider manifesting a brighter path for romance for 2021. Even the biggest skeptics can admit that after last year, anything is possible.
Creative Direction: Erin Glover; Art Direction: Jenna Brillhart; Designs/Illustrations: Emily Lundin & Sarah Maiden
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